Dear confused,

I read this and said to myself "I totally 100% relate to this." Everything you said is exactly how I'm feeling right now. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half, and it seems as though we continually fight more and more.

I've tried the "I listen, you listen" thing. He listens to me but never gives me the chance to listen to him; he doesn't talk to me about his problems, he just keeps it all shut in. It usually ends in us both getting frustrated and angry, and we never solve anything.

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(2)
Dear Confused,
I can really relate to what you are or were going through. I have the exact same problem with my current boyfriend and I don't know what to do anymore. I tried the "sit-down and talk" thing, ignore the problem and see if it works its self out, I have talked to a lot of people about my boyfriend issues and nobody seems to have the answer. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and four months and everyone that knows us and our relationship issues say that we need to go to marriage counseling even though we are not married.

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(3)

Dear Confused,

My girlfriend and I fight too, so many times. But I think the best thing that works for us is that we keep them short. Why hold a grudge overnight? Our philosophy has been to drag out our arguments on over the night, so that, eventually, maybe at 3 in the morning, everything is resolved. Someone has to give in and be the first to apologize each time, but once this happens, it's as if a wall has crumpled. There is so much to lose if you hold a grudge for a few days or even longer — what's more important, loving each other or fighting? We fight all the time, but we always make up. And make up sex is pretty awesome.