Dear Reader,

How 'bout we call them conversation starters? This more general term may take away negative associations that some have with being "picked up," i.e., the only reason you're saying hello to them is so that you can say goodbye an hour or two later after you've had an orgasm. If starting a conversation is your goal, you might enter into a chat, hoping simply to make a new friend or contact who could take off some of the pressure. And, since conversation starters can be used in both social and professional situations, your question and this answer can apply to more like you who've come to a site like this.

Now, let's not sell ourselves short by only listing lines that will leave them wanting more. Your appearance, the way you deliver your lines, where you stand, eye contact, voice volume, tone, speech speed, a handshake or bow, the state of your breath, and a smile can all convey self-confidence, maturity, intelligence, charm, respect... or the lack thereof. Think of these elements as determiners of whether your introduction is presented in a beautifully wrapped gift box, or a soggy brown shopping bag from the grocery store. Your words might be Pulitzer Prize winning, but if you quickly mumble and transmit them on a fog of tuna breath, they may not even get heard.

One more thing before the starter suggestions: consider the place where your approach will occur. Loud bars and Times Square on New Year's Eve will also make it more difficult to be heard — literally, unless you know sign language. Who else and what else is around that may distract you and your audience, and is there enough time for a response and some meaningful dialogue?

If you're really feeling adventurous, take cues from those you want to know: can what they are wearing, drinking, eating, looking at, and laughing about provide you with your verbal entrée?

Really, this is the last comment: however and wherever you start a dialogue, BE YOURSELF! If your message is not coming from the real you, you may not get taken seriously. If you "put on an act" and use "lines" instead of talking genuinely to another, you are offering him or her someone other than yourself. If you are yourself, better are the chances that someone will want to be with you — especially if you want to relate long-term. It might help to watch or imagine how Brad Pitt might do it with Julia Roberts, but acting like a sex symbol could win you laughs and disdain, and no Academy Awards.

Okay, here are some "lines" that may land you on both feet, then a few that may leave you standing there all by yourself:

Nominees

	"Hi, I'm ________."
	"Wow, those are really cool shoes... I'm _______."
	"Is it always this crowded here?"
	"Hi, I'm _______. I'm a friend of your friend _______. S/he suggested that I say hello."
	"Hi, I'm _______. I saw you make a presentation at the ________ conference — your speech was great!"
	"Is my hair okay?"

Straight-to-video

	"Do you have the time?"
	"I'm _______. Can I buy you a drink?"
	"Did anyone ever tell you that you look exactly like Phil Collins?"
	"Haven't I seen you here before?"
	"Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later?"
	"Is it hot in here, or is it me?"
	"Hi, I'm _______. Can I give you my card?"
	"Do I have broccoli in my teeth?"

If you can swallow the nominees, or if you have your own stand-bys, practice saying them out loud to yourself, or try them out on your friends, or the dog. And, remember that no one, not even Brad or Julia, always get the reaction s/he's hoping for; a lot of factors having nothing to do with you may influence how another perceives and reacts when called upon. Knowing that, try your best not to take a less-than-desired outcome personally. The more you try to get up close and personal with new people, the greater the chances that you'll find a co-star.

Alice

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