Dear Reader,

Feelings are not silly; they are feelings after all. It's not unusual for people to be hurt, jealous, troubled, angry, or confused if their spouses or partners pay special attention to someone else, even if that person were to pose no real threat to their marriage or relationship.

Alice wonders if you merely said to your wife that the pics bothered you, or did you also give some reasons why: because they're hurtful; they make you feel jealous, unimportant, etc. You could ask your wife to think about how she would feel if you were to post sexy shots of (fill in the blank) all around your desk. Maybe if she knows the reasons for your upset, the chances will be greater that she'll take down some of her pics -- and possibly put some more focus on you.

Also consider some other reasons for why this particular celeb's photos are blanketing your wife's office, other than for the purpose of "get[ting] her through a bad day." What does she like about him, or his acting? What do the pictures offer her or mean to her? Answers might help you to more fully understand your feelings and help you to better communicate them to your partner.

If you're feeling neglected in your relationship in other ways, maybe it would help to have greater reassurance from your wife that she cares about you. Would you like her to spend more time with you, or pay more attention in ways that she currently isn't? Asking for what you want and need in a relationship can be difficult, but could be worth the risk.

Finally, for now, click this: I really want to do it with Dave Matthews!. It might give you some other ways to think about your current situation, including ideas on how your wife's poster boy could enhance what you two already share together.

Alice