Dear Alice,

Here's a tidbit of advice for the guy who wanted to know what to with his condom after sex: The first woman I had sex with taught me to completely unroll the condom from my penis and then tie a knot in it to close the open end and keep the semen inside. My current lover who has a fair amount of sexual experience had never seen this before and finds it quite endearing.

Signed, Still experimenting!

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Dear Alice,

I just thought I would write in response to the guy who was wondering about how to gracefully take off a condom. I was reading this out loud to some of the other girls in my dorm, and it got quite a discussion going. Basically, the consensus was this: whether or not a woman experiences a man as a good lover has a lot to do with details exactly like this one. When a man is careful to pull himself out of your body gently and tenderly, remembering that you might be a little sore and sensitive too, it's really wonderful, and then when he doesn't turn away from you while he takes the condom off, but stays attentive to you, it can make all the difference in whether or not you perceive him as "fun in bed" (and whether or not you'll come back for more!). I think it's so strange that men are always trying to be good lovers by developing "stamina" when things like respect and attention are so much more of a turn on for women.

As long as we're on the subject of graceful condom usage, I just wanted to add that putting on a condom need not be a break in the romantic mood; on the contrary, if the man you're with does it without complaining and with a sense of humor if he runs into glitches, then it can be an immensely exciting moment. The man I'm with now is so good about it that when we're together I get amazingly turned on just watching him put on a condom, and actually, much like the Pavlovian experiment, I even get turned on at other times of day at the mere sight of the box of condoms we have next to the bed. This is all just to say that whether or not a woman experiences a man as a good lover has a lot to do with these condom details, because after all, condoms are a great way for him to demonstrate his respect for you, as well as his regard for your health and well-being (to say nothing of his own.)