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Orgasms
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Originally Published: March 15, 1996
~ Last Updated / Reviewed on: June 27, 2008
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Dear Alice,
Well, okay. This is my problem. My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for about three months. I enjoy making love to him very much, but intercourse doesn't give me any pleasure. He can easily bring me to orgasm through oral sex, but I don't feel any pleasure from regular sex. NONE! Sometimes I can't even tell if he's inside of me or not. I feel so bad about it, and we've been trying to find some information that might help us, but there isn't any. Why is this happening? It isn't like I don't know how to have an orgasm; I do, I've masturbated so I know what to do, but nothing works for intercourse. Can you help me?
Dear Reader, The vagina, or birth canal, understandably has very few nerve endings. The clitoris, or joy button, has as many as a man's penis. In order to orgasm, you need to touch what works. During intercourse, the clitoris rarely gets touched. Some women learn to orgasm through intercourse with practice. Since your clitoris -- the most sensitive body part on a woman -- is not located inside your vagina, reaching an orgasm through intercourse is difficult. While you are making love with your partner inside you, touch, press, and rub your clitoris with your fingers. You may have to move your body so that you can do this, and that can be part of the fun. It really is okay, too, if you have your orgasms before or after intercourse. Don't drive yourself crazy... it's a matter of anatomy and variety. P.S.: Other Alice readers have asked similar questions. See: No stimulation from intercourse, No orgasm with partner, Easing orgasms for women, and Women's orgasms.
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